Managing depression and negative self talk

Are you having one of those days, months or even years (already..) where nothing seems to be going the way you want? Maybe you’re constantly reminded, for better or worse, about the ways people and the planet are changing and you can’t seem to keep up. Maybe you wish you embodied fun, loving, and sexy energy, but feel less than excited to go out and meet up with your good friends or visit the places you love to go. Perhaps you don’t feel seen or heard and you already spend so much time focusing your attention on education, kindness for others, and physical appearance. All this work on yourself and you still don’t feel you fit in or belong. Anything you’d like to add…?

Maybe it’s not just one of those days or a good enough excuse to say fuck it to the world and carelessly do what you want for the day. Instead, this is an incessant cycle of stress that happens for you. OR you don’t know why you’re feeling this bad your period just happened and you tell yourself, I should be feeling great now. ALL of these reasons to feel down are justifiable and there is something small you can do to cause a shift. Things will change and this discomfort is temporary.

In one of my favorite books, Come Together, by Emily Nagoski, PhD, Dr. Nagoski writes, depression is like a tunnel, you must go through it to get to the light. And while I understand first hand how sticky and defeating depression is, it takes some slow and careful work to get through this temporary situation.
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Now, I’m going to demonstrate ways you can power up in these moments rather than letting your negative moods and thoughts swallow you up. These thoughts are not you. 

Tips for combatting depression on your own

1. Exercise. You knew I was going to say that didn’t you? Even just a few moments of movement like getting up from where you’re currently sitting or lying, this can have stimulating positive effect on your brain.

Exercise increases levels of brain-derived neurotrophic factor (BDNF) and other growth factors that stimulate neurogenesis, increase resistance to brain insult and improve learning and mental performance (1). So basically, when you move around your brain stimulates growth.

Also, exercise benefits the brain plasticity processes. Brain plasticity, or neuroplasticity, is the brain becomming stimulated and reorganizing itself in a way where it grows new pathways and patterns for long term development, like learning to walk or do a flip. This connection gets stronger and stronger over time and with practice. Overall, exercise could provide a simple means to maintain and improve brain function and can even influence the way you feel when you exercise.

​2. Identify and acknowledge how you’re feeling. The Feeling Wheel by Dr. Gloria Willcox of the Gottman Institute (2) can be a helpful way to identify how you’re feeling, especially in moments of not being sure why you feel this way. Identifying your thoughts could sound like this, “I’m feeling really down and I can’t relate to anyone right now.” These feelings are clear to her experience and she may also use The Feeling Wheel to illuminate her experience to a feeling. For this example, she may be feeling, Insignificant and lonely. When we identify our emotions we are one step closer to accepting them or moving through them.

Further, If you feel stuck in your negative emotion try calling up a friend or family member, go for a walk, or switch up what you are already doing. Community and togetherness is one way to move past negative feelings even if it feels impossible, sometimes simply waving at a neighbor, saying hello in an elevator, or chatting with grocery store clerk can cause a shift. It may be most helpful and productive to seek out professional help if you find that depression is a lingering discomfort and gets in the way of your daily function. I’ll reference a trusted psychotherapy center that I’ve utilized to personal help below (3).  

3. Neutralize your negative self-talk. I learned this one, thanks to Molly Galbraith in her book Strong Women Lift Each Other Up (4).

1. Hear yourself speak negatively about your body, your mind, or your skills.

2. Neutralize your words by stating what’s true and unbiased. For Example, "Ugh I look so puffy". Flip it to…"This is what I look like today". Practice this over and over, day after day and once you feel comfortable with a neutral statement you are ready to practice shifting a negative thought into a positive one.

3. So Finally, "Ugh I look so puffy". Flip it on it’s head to…"I love my body and appreciate how my body has carried me through my life"!

Trust me, you can get from negative to genuine positivity!   

These are not rules for you to follow. The last thing we need are more rules! And know that being depressed is ok and it is a temporary emotion. If any of these phrases, practices, or rituals speak to you, give them a try!

Depression Process or ‘spiral’ - BAHMfitWell interpretation

For when you are unable to combat depression

Its ok. I’ve been here too. Good thing is there are places where you can get help. Sometimes this help is just temporary to get you over that hump.

For immediate support visit https://988lifeline.org/ or National Alliance on Mental Illness at 800-950-NAMI (6264). 

If you have not been feeling like yourself for several days, aren't sleeping or are sleeping too much, and cannot seem to shake it, contact your primary care physician for referrals or resources.

Sources:
(1) Cotman, C.W., & Berchtold, N.C. (2002). Exercise: A behavioral intervention to enhance brain health and plasticity. DOI:https://doi.org/10.1016/S0166-2236(02)02143-4
(2) the-gottman-institute_the-feeling-wheel_v2.pdf
(3) Chamin Ajjan Psychotherapy Group Contact: https://chaminajjan.com/
(4) Molly Galbraith, Strong Women Lift Each Other Up